This Christmas I've lost a lot. I've lost a great part of my identity and am struggling to figure out who I am and where I fit in this world. Two things that I haven't lost and have even regained in some instances are my family and friends. I'm very greatful for the support I have received from everyone and it has helped me to get through some very tough times. My parents and my sister have been there for me in a selfless way, and it's healing to just hang out with them at home where it's like being hugged. I lost touch with some of my good friends as often happens when one gets married but even though there was that gap of time they have jumped right back into being there for me as they would have been years and years ago.
Thank you to my friends and family for all of the support.
I wasn't really sure how this week would feel, yesterday I was doing well, I did some shopping and went and saw a friend. Today is a different day and I'm not feeling so good. I interviewed a prospective roomate on Sunday and emailed her yesterday and I have not heard back from her. I'm bummed because I think she would be a good fit.
I'm just sad in general. There just isn't a way to explain how it feels to be going through what I am at Christmas time. There is such a gaping hole in my life that it's hard to feel much Christmas spirit.