So I really don’t have time to be typing this, but I need to get this emotion out before it gets bottled up and comes out later in a fit of tears or something.
I might be on my own for an evening next week when I’m in Boston. The co-worker that is going with me might meet up with some clients for dinner which leaves me to go it alone. This possibility brings up a multitude of emotions that are close to bringing me to tears right now. Fear is an obvious one, but there is also a bit of something else that I can’t put my finger on. Weather permitting, I can do whatever I feel like doing in Boston for an evening. There is a gala for the conference I’m going to that is an option, or I can go explore and have dinner all alone in some fabulous restaurant. That thought is so scary and freeing all at the same time. It brings to mind an episode or two of Sex and the City. One where Samantha is caught alone (without a book) in a restaurant because she gets stood up and another where Carrie goes out to eat alone and doesn’t take a book for distraction. At least I think that’s the way it goes. It’s like staring into the face of a monster, can I do it? Can I go away on a grown up business trip to an unfamiliar city and have dinner alone somewhere?