Monday, June 29, 2009

I am going stir crazy!

It's been too hot outside to do much so I've been indoors all day. I hate running the air conditioner but I couldn't escape using it today.
Being unemployed is quite tough on the emotions and the stress level. It's not easy to stay positive and keep from falling into a pit of despair. I've only really just begun to start looking and sending out resume's but it's just so discouraging. I've started questioning if I should even be in the business that I'm in. Am I doing the right thing? Will I ever get ahead and cease to be a "junior designer?" I just feel lost to be honest. I don't know how people who go through this bounce back! I feel so mediocre that nobody will ever hire me. There are so many things I want to do and accomplish and have in my lifetime and so much of it has become what seems to be unatainable. I'll never have a house if I don't get a job and I desperately want my own house. I don't feel like I'm ever going to have myself figured out enough to even think about dating and it's scary, everything is just scary.
What did I do the last time I was unemployed, I don't remember being this out of whack. I still felt purposeful and somewhat content. This time around I'm just depressed.
I just had to get that off my chest. I think I'm going out for a bike ride in a few, I just have to wait for it to cool off a bit more. I don't know how I ever managed living in Yuba, it gets far hotter there than it does here!

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